Home > Gender > Bet You Didn’t See This One Coming…

Bet You Didn’t See This One Coming…

A transgender woman expresses a look of shock2015 has been a year of huge changes for me. I left my old church and joined the Episcopal church. I withdrew from my program at seminary as an M.Div. student. Let’s see, what else?

Oh yeah. I transitioned my gender.

I am no longer presenting as male. I had my name legally changed from Ryan to Rya. I started on hrt (hormones). My drivers license now says I’m female. I pretty much did the whole thing.

No. It’s not a joke. And yes that’s really me in the picture.

It was quite a whirlwind, and it all happened so fast. In the moment though, it seemed like it couldn’t happen fast enough.

Of course, I didn’t make this decision lightly. My wake-up call came in mid-spring, when in a moment of intense emotion, I took an action that I intended to result in suicide. At that moment, I preferred to die than to either go on living as a man or transition to be a woman. With the help of my family, I realized that even though the negative effects of transitioning were enormous, the cost of not transitioning was even higher.

It’s been three months to the day that I publicly transitioned. Looking back on it, I can say without a doubt that transitioning has been the worst decision of my life. I can also say that transitioning has been the best decision of my life. But the best outweighs the worst by at least 2-to-1. So I’m glad I did it. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Now I begin the long process of working out the details. For me, a lot of that means sorting out my beliefs, which are pretty much up in the air right now. I’m not sure where I’ll end up, but the ride just got a lot more interesting…

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  1. John Vagabond
    July 24, 2017 at 3:26 am

    I discovered you from a link to YouTube and although the subject matter was about sex and gender, I sensed I was listening to a believer. I’ve never met anybody from the TG community and have most of the usual hangups, so it was a breath of air to hear what you were saying and, how you were saying it. Thank you.

  2. January 4, 2018 at 3:18 am

    I just read your fascinating article on the ascension and the questions it raises. I have been asking similar questions and recently wrote a paper on the topic, citing a barrage of biblical scholars to the effect that yes, the ascension story is highly questionable. The paper may appear on the Secular Web.

    Also, have you seen Derren Brown’s Miracles for Sale? He trained someone to perform street healing miracles, and lo, the pain was diminished or gone. Pain can be highly subjective.

    Lastly, curious why your blog stopped with your gender transitioning. Fascinating story though.

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